SSC- Safe, Sane & Consentual- The 3 Sacred Words

BDSM Is Safe, Sane, and Consensual

Those involved in BDSM often use the phrase “safe, sane, and consensual” to describe their type of sex play. Any play that is defined as “kink” but doesn’t incorporate the agreed-upon safe, sane and consensual elements may very well be abusive.

Safe means participants have taken precautions to minimize risks. It also means that participants are knowledgeable about the techniques and tools being used, which can eliminate both unwanted fear and dangerous behavior.

Sane indicates that those involved are in a state that allows them to separate fantasy from reality. This also means sobriety; senses and behaviors are not being impaired by the influence of intoxicants. Lastly, it implies refraining from imposing unrealistic expectations on your partner.

Consent means all parties have discussed and agree on boundaries. Equally as important, consent must be on-going. In other words, if an individual wishes to change their mind about any activity during play they can renegotiate at any time.

SSC is often criticized as the core principles are considered highly subjective and open to interpretation; "How safe is safe enough" is a legitimate question. Further, the argument can be made that nothing at all is inherently safe, as even a morning shower poses some inherent risk of immediate death, which points to the need to gauge risk in order to have informed levels of consent. Further, arguments about the subjectivity of sanity due to relativistic things like cultural background, and consent being subjective because of lack of omniscience and always including some level of risk and unknown.

Best Practices

Remaining in a space of participating in kink within the bounds of an SSC framework is a great idea when you are first starting out so that you don't take risks you aren't ready to accept and gain important experiences you will need to draw from if you decide to attempt other, more risky forms of play. Always make it a point to be as informed about any risk you take as possible.